


Saving Vagabond Ryan

by t_a_f_k_a_r



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: FAHC, Fake AH Crew, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Queerplatonic Ray/Ryan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 20:51:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4976098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_a_f_k_a_r/pseuds/t_a_f_k_a_r
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For once, Ryan's the damsel in distress.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saving Vagabond Ryan

They’re at some dive on the outskirts of the city, neither Ray nor Ryan wants to return to their allocated, and empty, safe house. Not yet. Not after the shit show that was their latest heist just a few hours ago. They’re exhausted and grumpy, but they need the atmosphere of life right now, more than they need anything else.

Neither of them are drinking anything alcoholic, as usual when they go out. Ray because he doesn’t like it, and Ryan because he’s the better driver of the two. So, Ray is incredibly concerned when Ryan’s words start slurring together as if he’s drunk, and he seems to be having trouble keeping his head up.

“Ray?” Ryan mumbles, blinking at Ray slowly but repetitively like he’s having trouble seeing.

“Ryan?” Ray asks, and then he glances at Ryan’s drink, a frown forming on his face as he remembers Ryan playing with the drink earlier, when they’d gotten back from their, very brief, stint on the dance floor, as if he didn’t want to drink it. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” He says, moving around the table to pull Ryan to his feet. Ryan stumbles, and collapses against Ray, his legs unsteady as all hell beneath him. “C’mon.” Ray swipes Ryan’s keys from his pocket and moves them towards the door, shoving people out of the way as he does. He pours Ryan into the passenger seat of the Zentorno, and slides across the hood to get into the driver’s seat. As they pull out onto the road, Ray’s eyes keep wondering over to Ryan, a frown on his face as the gent blinks at him sleepily.

“Ray?”

“Yeah, Rye-bread?”

“Where are we?”

“In the car, Rye. We’re going to the safe house.” Ray explains, trying to keep the worry from his voice. “Do you remember seeing anyone messing with your drink?”

“No.” Ryan admits, before giggling quietly. “That’s why I gave it to you.”

“What?” Ray exclaims, swerving around a slow car, beeping his horn at them angrily as he speeds past. “Rye, did you swap our drinks?”

“Mhm.” Ryan’s eyes slip closed as he tries to curl into his seat, not having much luck. “’m glad you’re safe, Ray.” Ryan mumbles, before passing out.

“Fuck.” Ray exclaims, picking up speed.

He pulls into the garage of their safe house a little more dangerously than perhaps he should have, but after pulling the key from the ignition, his only concern is Ryan. Who he manages to drag to the bedroom with minor hassle, and tuck into bed, before he settles at Ryan’s side for a nightly vigil.

* * *

He wakes to a poke in the shoulder, and light streaming in between curtains he forgot to close. He grumbles, and pushes at the hands poking at him, mumbling for them to go away. But they don’t.

“Wake up.” Ryan’s voice is what snaps him fully from sleep, as he remembers the night before. His eyes fly open and he turns to Ryan quickly, eyes scanning over him. Ryan frowns at him, concern in his eyes. “What happened?”

“The next time you fucking drink my spiked drink. Give me some fucking warning.” Ray growls, satisfied there’s no terribly negative lasting effects from the drugs. Ryan cocks his head to the side, his concern turning to confusion.

“Spiked drink?”

“Yeah, asshole. At the club. Someone spiked my drink, and instead of telling me that, you fucking swapped it with yours.” Ray tells him, masking his concern with anger. “Don’t fucking do that.”

“Okay, I kind of remember swapping our drinks? And it explains… so many things.” Ryan says, smiling tiredly and closing his eyes. “Like, why last night is all… patchy? And why I feel like I drank my way through a river of alcohol.” Ray sighs, shaking his head.

“Don’t fucking do that again, damn.”

“I didn’t want you to worry. Neither of us really wanted to come back here. And I didn’t want you to know someone had messed with your drink.”

“I’m a grown ass man, Ryan. I can handle the fact that people are fucking pieces of shit.” Ray retorts, scowling. “What I can’t handle is my friends getting hurt because of me.”

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah, but what would have happened if I’d stayed on the dance floor, huh?” Ray asks, remembering the way Ryan had refused to leave the dance floor without Ray. “What would have happened if the others were there? And we’d stayed on the dance floor while you’d gone back to the table?”

“The others weren’t there, and that didn’t happen. So it doesn’t matter.” Ryan says, sighing.

“But-“

“Ray. I can’t deal with this right now. Be angry at me later.” He mumbles, pulling the blankets up to cover his face.

“Promise me you won’t do that again.”

“You know I’m not in the business of making promises I can’t keep.”

“Ryan.”

“I’ll try.”

“Fine.”

* * *

When it happens again, Ray is livid. Because this time it wasn’t just him and Ryan, and they weren’t glued to each other’s sides like they were before. This time the rest of the crew is with them, and they’re at a different bar. And one minute Ryan’s dancing at his side, scowling at him light heartedly, and the next he catches sight of Ryan being dragged out the bar. He growls, pulling his gun from its holster at his hip, and following. Moving through the writhing mass of dancers with ease. He bursts through the doors into the alleyway, gun steady in his hands, safety off.

Ryan is struggling weakly, like a kitten, as a beast of a man drags him down the alleyway. Ray scowls, brings his gun up and aims at the asshole’s head.

“Let him go, fuckhead, or I’ll paint this fucking alley with your blood.” Ray yells, he’s never sounded so angry. Man-beast growls and turns towards him, freezing at the sight of the gun.

“Hey, dude, we were just having a little fun.” He says, voice shaking slightly with fear. Ryan doesn’t seem to have noticed Ray at all, as he continues to pull weakly at Beast-man’s grip.

“I fucking said let him go.” Ray says, his finger resting to the side of the trigger, he’s not going to shoot just yet, but he will.

_Shooting 101._

_Never aim a gun at someone you aren’t prepared to shoot._

_Don’t shoot unless you plan to kill._

_Even if you don’t squeeze the trigger, always be ready to._

_Always intend to kill._

Man-beast laughs awkwardly and pushes Ryan away from him, Ryan stumbles and falls to the ground immediately, and Ray smirks, finger moving to the trigger.

“Thanks for your cooperation, asshole.” Ray says, squeezing the trigger. Beast-man drops like a sack of potatoes, a neat hole between his eyes. “Fucker.” Ray exclaims, holstering his gun and rushing to Ryan’s side, pulling the man up. Ryan groans, leaning into Ray, but not providing any sort of help in getting himself to his feet. “What did I tell you, fucktard?” Ray asks, as he all but drags Ryan out of the alleyway and out to the lot, where their cars are parked. He steals Ryan’s keys, and unlocks the Zentorno, pouring Ryan into the passenger seat. As he slips into the driver’s seat he flicks a quick text to Geoff.

 _‘Taking Ryan home._  
_He’s not feeling well._  
 _Be careful.’_

The response is faster than he thought it would be, and before he can even start the car, he’s checking his phone.

 _‘Okay._  
_We’re not going to stay long._  
 _Drive safe.’_

Ray nods, refraining from sending back a reply, he puts the key in the ignition, and sets them on their way.

* * *

“What did I fucking tell you about drinking spiked drinks?” is the first thing out of Ray’s mouth when he sees Ryan watching him through tired eyes the next morning.

“What?” Ryan exclaims, confused.

“You fucking drank someone’s spiked drink again.”

“What?”

“You don’t remember?” Ray asks, frowning.

“ _No._ I left the dance floor because I wanted a drink, and I had a can of Diet Coke on our table. I sat down to drink it and watch you guys, and I-I don’t remember anything after that, really.” Ryan sighs, closing his eyes. “Fuck.”

“Okay. What the fuck? Why do our non-alcoholic drinks keep getting fucked with?” Ray asks, scowling.

“Probably because they think our drunk friends won’t notice us disappearing? I dunno.” Ryan answers, sounding far more tired than Ray has ever heard him. And that says a lot since one time Ray had to wrestle Ryan into bed after the idiot hadn’t slept for five days. “Next time, you can take the spiked drink.”

“Gee, thanks, I would have done last time, but _someone_ had to play hero.”

“Was totally worth it.”

“Stop it, you’ll make me blush.”

“You fuckers are finally awake!” Geoff exclaims, bursting through the door. “Did you guys fucking hear?”

“No, Geoff. As you’ve literally just pointed out, we’ve just woken up.” Ray deadpans, glaring at the man, who snorts.

“Right. Anyway. Some poor fuck got his brains blown out in the alley behind the club last night! Fucking expert shot it looks like. Apparently the dead guy is some piece of shit scumbag the LSPD have been looking for for ages!”

“Whoa! We sure know how to fucking pick ‘em!” Ray exclaims with mock surprise.

“Fucking freaky dude!” Geoff says, before breezing out of the room as suddenly as he’d arrived.

“Can you believe he’s our fucking boss?” Ray asks Ryan, looking exasperated. He frowns, noting the way Ryan’s staring at him.

“Ray.”

“Ah, fuck, don’t even fucking start.” Ray says, shaking his head.

“Ray.”

“Yes, alright. I shot the fucker. Are you happy now?”

“Ray.”

“Look, I saved your life.” Ray exclaims, voice slightly higher pitched now.

“Ray.”

“Look, I-“ he breaks off at the arms that are suddenly around him, and he frowns in confusion. “Ryan?”

“Thank you for saving me.”

“Yeah, whatever, don’t make a habit of it.” Ray mumbles, trying to downplay the situation.

“Aww, but you make such a good hero.”

“You make a shitty damsel.”

“Aww.” Ryan grumbles, Ray can almost picture the pout on his face, which he’d be able to see if Ryan ever considers letting him go.

“Seriously, dude. Don’t fucking do this to me again.”

“I’ll try.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t promise more.”

“Fine.” Ray sighs, realizing Ryan isn’t going to let go of him any time soon, he gives into the hug. “Ryan the Teddy bear guy.”

“I’ve been through a traumatic experience. Fucking sue me.”

“Dude, you don’t even fucking remember the experience. If anyone is traumatised here, it’s me.”

“Lies.”

“I cannot tell a lie.”

“Fucking lie!”

“Pssh, just shut up and accept your hug.”

“Fine. You know this is why they think we’re banging, right?”

“Dude, they think everyone is banging.”

“True. Fuck ‘em.”


End file.
